You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
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i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
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It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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