hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
