great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize