Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
