you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
