All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
