i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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