IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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