i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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