I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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