you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
