i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
