Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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