If i come over, it means nothing
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
