Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
be right there i have to get my cape
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
