I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
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He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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