Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
