ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
