Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
