I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
