So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
