So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
