The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
organizing the empties. That sober.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
