New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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