so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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