Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
