I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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