With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
