Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
