if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
