I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize