kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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