Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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