The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
