This girl is more easily done than said...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
