I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
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Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
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I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I have already put on my inside pants.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.