Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game