Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!