so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
