well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
