Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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