Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
