How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
