Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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