sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
and you fell through a lawn chair
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize