So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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