Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
