just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
