bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
