I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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