so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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