I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize