Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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