Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
