is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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