drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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