Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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