Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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