walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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